Tuesday, May 23, 2017

‘Secrets and Wives’ Recap: Susan and Amy Defend Their Men

June 30, 2015 by tv show news · Leave a Comment 

'Secrets and Wives' Recap: Susan and Amy Defend Their Men

In this episode of Secrets and Wives, “Flock of Sea Gals,” the ladies head to Fire Island for a weekend getaway. Amy shares some big news. And Susan defends her husband.

This episode picks up right where the previous one left off, with Susan’s husband, Jonathan, being loud, obnoxious and grabby. Not interested in hearing about anal
bleaching and other spa talk, he goes from schmuck to a character from Goodfellas in the span of minutes.

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Secrets and Wives Recap: Cori’s Dinner Party Takes a Nasty Turn >>>


A Social Liability

After being told to shut up multiple times, Cori gets upset and leaves, and Jonathan’s only reaction is to laugh. Susan, justifiably mortified by his behavior, demands her husband go find Cori and apologize.
Cori’s got bigger problems. Her husband, Sandy, doesn’t come to her defense. Maybe he thinks his wife can fight her own battles, but he should have intervened. He looks like a major puss and proves that chivalry is, indeed, dead. At least on Long Island.

Jonathan’s apology to Cori isn’t exactly a sonnet. He just kind of orders her to stop being upset. Jonathan’s behavior brings the evening to an abrupt halt. Susan just barely squeezed her way into Cori and Liza’s good graces, and now she’s got to deal with the fallout from her husband acting like a dick.

A Cold Snap Hits Fire Island

Liza and Gail head to Fire Island with Liza’s pals, Glenn and Pat. Liza tells Gail all about Cori’s disastrous dinner party. Gail, already not a big Susan fan, is not looking forward to spending quality time with the opinionated brunette.

Liza informs viewers that many people think Gail’s a snob, but Liza swears her friend is just shy and reserved. Funny … when she bitches about having to deal with her own luggage, while wearing flats no less, she sure comes off as a princess. She considers Fire Island rustic, especially in comparison to the Hamptons.

In an effort to broaden Gail’s horizons and loosen her up, the group heads to a place called “Dick Dock, ” a not-so-secret hook-up spot for gay men. The peeping expedition is a bust. All they spot is a used condom and a deer. At least we know the deer was practicing safe sex.

A “Friend-tervention”

Susan, Andi, Cori and Cori’s humongous hat all catch the ferry the following day. Cori claims to be over being told to shut the eff up by Susan’s husband, so the conversation turns to Amy. She begged off going on the trip at the last minute. This leads the women to speculate that Amy blowing them off has more to do with Arthur than illness. They call Amy, who says she spent the night puking but is going to come to Fire Island anyway.

Andi decides that Amy needs a “friend-tervention.” They want to help Amy break free from her meal ticket because they think Amy and Arthur’s relationship is really dysfunctional. This coming from a doctor’s wife who is smothering her husband, an adulteress, a woman going through her third divorce and Susan, whose husband is a douche-y asshat. Those who can’t teach, I guess.

Amy arrives and she’s sporting a massive rock on her hand. Amy threw the girls a curve ball, but Andi is determined to push her agenda anyway. A big, fat diamond does not a good relationship make. You’d think in this crowd, it sure doesn’t hurt.

Having witnessed only one on-camera tiff, I’m at a loss as to why these women are so anti-Arthur, especially given their own track records. Amy knows her relationship isn’t perfect, but she’s determined to make it work. She also knew that breaking the news of her re-engagement was going to cause a stir, so she’s not completely unprepared when the ladies start offering unsolicited advice.

It seems like Arthur is a bit temperamental, and Amy defends his outbursts, saying she knows he doesn’t mean it when he blows up. Liza, who has been on her own the longest, is the voice of female empowerment in the group. She wants Amy to know she doesn’t need a man to be whole, just his checkbook. Liza is living off her ex and not working.

The ladies speak their peace and decide to be supportive. And by being supportive, I mean waiting around for things to fall apart for poor, poor Amy.

Susan and Gail Squash Their Differences

Gail is leaving the party early to get back to her hubby. Everybody’s trying to convince her to hang around, but she’s adamant about making the afternoon ferry. Susan thinks the real reason Gail won’t stay is because of her. Susan says she’s tried to build a friendship with Gail and her efforts have been met with indifference.

Gail responds that she never had a problem with Susan until she heard Susan was saying nasty things behind her back. Susan denies the accusation, of course.

Liza decides to plop herself right in the middle. Her take is that everybody on the North Shore talks about everybody else, and Gail and Susan should just let it go. Susan decides to give Gail another chance to prove she’s not an ice princess. Gail considers herself a lover, not a fighter and is content to let bygones be bygones.

Liza Turns on Susan

The girls hit a drag show, and it appears as if the rest of the trip may go off without a hitch. But at dinner, after Susan invites the ladies to her son’s birthday party, Liza brings up Jonathan’s behavior. Susan insists her husband was joking, but Liza doesn’t buy it. Liza’s known Jonathan as long as Susan has, and she knows when the guy is playing around or genuinely trying to bust someone’s balls.

Cori, who supposedly had put the whole thing behind her, reminds Susan that Jonathan did make her cry, and Susan responds that Cori cries all the time. Ouchie.

Susan, feeling that Jonathan is being attacked, leaves the table. I’d say these ladies are hypercritical of each other’s significant others, but the truth is they all have lousy taste.

Amy chases Susan down and tries to comfort her. There’s really nobody better for the job since Amy is constantly having to stick up for her man. Susan is convinced she’s struck the lottery when it comes to Jonathan, and none of these blonde bitches are going to change her mind about that.

Let’s see if Jonathan can redeem himself at his son’s birthday party. Something tells me things are about to go from bad to worse.

Secrets and Wives airs Tuesdays at 10pm on Bravo.


(Image courtesy of Bravo)

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