‘Minority Report’ Recap: Will Dash’s Brother Help Him with His Vision?
For a show about precognition, Minority Report has an impressive number of flashbacks and the second episode, “Mr. Nice Guy,” begins with one. We see the three precogs back when they were still under government control. Their handler, Wally (Daniel London), is explaining to some government suit that each of the three has a distinctive personality and gift. Agatha (Laura Regan) becomes the person she predicts. As he explains, “It’s like she leaves herself. Her brother’s mind is an antenna, pulling in names, facts, information. And Dash can see the murders but doesn’t have the information or ability to stop them.” And so ends the part of the script writers refer to as “repeating the backstory for new viewers.”
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It’s now present time and Dash is winning a bunch of simultaneous chess games in the future’s version of Central Park. Is that supposed to show that he’s not just a precognitive but is also super smart? Then he gets one of those precog flashes, and apparently he’s not that smart because he walks away from a bunch of chess winnings. He sees that a woman is screaming, and there’s a flashy pair of shoes and a knife. Um … she’s being murdered at Bed, Bath and Beyond? Geez, no wonder Dash needs help.
At the same time, Vega is in the midst of a gun battle in some futuristic urban wasteland where she smirks her way through a gun battle. Is it a holographic training simulator? Of course it is, and of course she gets “killed” showing off her skills.
Dash Looks to His Brother for Help
Then we settle down into the procedural part of the episode as Dash and Vega try and make sense of his vision. But since Dash can’t see the faces, he asks for help from his brother, Arthur, who tends to see more details. The downside is that Arthur is a world-class jerk and he won’t help Dash without getting something in return. Which turns out to be a police department case file he wants Vega to grab for him.
Dash refuses Arthur’s request and then it’s time for the episode’s “I’m done watching” speech to Vega before the duo head off to a club they saw in Dash’s vision. Why don’t these murders ever take place in a library or even a fast food joint? The one cool piece of technology they have this time are bracelets that are genetically encoded to the wearer. By clicking the bracelet against another one, you get feedback on whether or not the two of you are a match. Dash and Vega are a 51% on “Who Knows?” Which apparently means that the rom-com portion of Minority Report won’t kick in until season 3. Snicker. Yep, as if a third season of the show is even a remote possibility at this point.
So Vega heads to the bathroom and you don’t have to be a precog to know that Dash is going to spot the sexy murder victim de jour on the dance floor. And, yes, he’s going to try and save her by telling her that he likes her shoes just before he uses a stun stick on the guy, who turns out to be her brother. Surprisingly, that goes horribly wrong, but luckily Vega spies the man who has the tattoo Dash spotted in his vision. The guy turns out to be an author (of books!), including one entitled The Art of Seduction. Oh, the predictable irony…
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You Don’t Have to Be a Precog to See This Coming
I want to love Minority Report, but the writing on the show makes it nearly impossible. This episode then moves on to a lumbering seven to eight minute hunk that basically involves Dash staring off into the cosmos, fretting about whether he should feel something after he murdered a guy in the previous episode. He and Vega then conduct the world’s dullest stakeout of the potential murderer, Tyson Cole, before checking out one of his seminars. By the time it’s thankfully over, you don’t have to be a precog to know that Vega is going to grab that file for Arthur so they can learn the identity of the potential victim and stop a crime. Well, if you don’t count the felonies committed against humanity while writing this episode.
So Vega pulls the file and it turns out to be details about the murder of the woman who was Dash and Arthur’s mother. The file was a test by Arthur, but once Vega confronts him, the issue just sort of evaporates as he lays a few shudder-inducing flirty lines on our detective. She gets the identity of the murder victim, but once again, it’s a long drive for no real reason.
Who is the Murderer?
They’re back at the club, where Vega unexpectedly meets her ex-fiance/new boss Detective Will Blake (Wilmer Valderrama). He confronts her about the old file she pulled and he still suspects that she has some confidential informant that she’s hiding from him. That distraction leaves Dash to try and distract the potential murder victim with awkward pick-up lines and a lot of inappropriate staring. He scares her off and into a cab with Tyson, who turns out not to be the murderer, despite the last 30 minutes of exposition in this episode. No, it’s the bartender of the club, who Vega identifies by reexamining Dash’s vision and spotting some chopsticks, which is what the bartender uses to mix his drinks — although she could have just stopped at a Chinese restaurant. So the lesson we’ve learned about Minority Report is that the least likely answer is likely to be the correct one.
But the murder is stopped, and when it’s all over, Dash returns to the park to play chess with the cute girl he previously defeated. We know she’s open-minded and understanding because not only does she play chess, but she’s also sporting multi-colored hair and a nose ring.
But wait! Where’s the cliffhanger? Ah, the episode ends with a scene featuring Agatha. She sees a future in which she and her brothers have returned to the milk baths against their will. And she sees who’s going to help put them there. Any thoughts on who that will be? I bet it rhymes with “Mega.”
Minority Report airs Mondays at 9pm on FOX.
(Image courtesy of FOX)