Machete

In Grindhouse directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez tackled the idea of making an homage to exploitation films from different angles. With Death Proof Quentin Tarantino set out to make an actual grindhouse movie, complete with all those films’ flaws and foibles; the endless lulls, the dull conversations, punctuated by occasionally interesting and sometimes innovative stunts and violence. Rodriguez on the other hand set out to make more of a grindhouse homage, an idealized exploitation film in which he portrayed them without all the warts. His Planet Terror wasn’t so much an exploitation movie as a re-imagining of what exploitation movies should have been. His take was a movie without all the boring in between parts, and instead composed entirely of all the really cool stuff they were likely to use in the trailers

The American

Once you’ve seen The American the stylish, 70s-inspired one sheet makes perfect sense–this is a movie that bows at the feet of European art films, and isn’t so much a thriller as a meditation on hitman movies and cinema history itself. Everything about it, from the placid camerawork and minimal dialogue to the ancient Italian settings, asks you to settle down into an earlier time. Director Anton Corbijn is not afraid to bore his audience in what’s essentially a character study about a career assassin, and while he and Clooney happen upon some striking visuals and dig up a few interesting ideas, the flashy visuals tend to say a lot more than the story itself. Things start well with a striking and intense confrontation in snowy Sweden, leaving three dead and Clooney’s assassin Jack on the run to Italy, where he meets up with the mysterious man (Bruce Altman) who gives him his orders. Jack hides out in one of those Italian cities that’s all cobblestones balanced precariously on a hilltop, working on a weapon specially ordered by a mystery woman (Tekla Reuten) and frequenting a whorehouse where he repeatedly asks for the dark and beautiful Clara (Violante Placido)

The Winning Season

The Winning Season assumes that by making a traditional sports movie about a girl’s team instead of boys, it has added something new to the genre and can just proceed as usual from there. But even the most straightforward sports movies need to at least be well made, and the haphazardly directed and edited Winning Season is far from making the cut. Sam Rockwell is never quite comfortable as he attempts a take on Walter Matthau in The Bad News Bears — but, you know, with heart– and the movie doesn’t help him as it fails over and over again to establish a consistent tone. The presence of future Lisbeth Salander Rooney Mara in a substantial supporting role may spark some interest, but this is one long-delayed indie– it debuted at Sundance 2009– that was lagging for a reason. Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Rockwell plays Bill, a down-on-his-luck single dad working as a dishwasher until the local high school principal (Rob Corddry, miscast and out of place) asks him out of the blue to coach the girl’s team.

Piranha 3D

Somewhere near the end of Piranha 3D , as Ving Rhames was indiscriminately firing shotgun casings into the water and Jerry O’Connell was doing tequila shots off an eighty-five percent naked woman, I decided to award this film three stars. This may seem like an unusually high number of stars for a gimmicky b-movie about piranhas attacking drunk college kids in the third dimension, but I happen to find a certain amount of honor in a film delivering exactly upon its promises. Four stars, that would be ludicrous and two stars, that would imply Piranha 3D somehow disappointed. But three stars, that’s the right number for an aggressively pleasurable film involving cocaine, piranhas, inordinate amounts of nudity and Jerry O’Connell

Lottery Ticket

Lottery Ticket begins with the kind of plot that mad-cap comedies are made of: a whole lot of money appears out of thin air and a group of people will do anything to get their hands on it. It’s a formula which has worked for some and not at all for others.

Vampires Suck

Vampires Suck is the latest in a long line of cheaply produced, minimum effort parody movies. In fact it’s the fifth just directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. In recent years the Hollywood mockery machine has tackled horror movies, superhero movies, teen movies, romance movies, and they’ve even parodied vampire movies before too. But this one, it’s the best of the bunch. Not because it’s good, but because it’s only unbelievably boring while all the others have been unbearably irritating.

Twelve

The grand finale of Nick McDonell’s book Twelve is one of the most powerful and successful buildups I’ve ever experienced. After an entire story of fairly tranquil moments, McDonell absolutely blows the reader away with an astonishingly gripping conclusion.

Dinner for Schmucks

Making a comedy centered entirely around a dinner party isnÂ’t easy. The makers of Clue pulled it off brilliantly but almost no one else has. ItÂ’s hard to fill 90 minutes with people hanging around, eating, talking, and drinking and make it consistently funny

Red Band Machete Trailer Rips Out Your Intestines And Uses Them To Bungie

Normally when Hollywood releases a red band trailer itÂ’s pretty much like the green band trailer, except with the F word, or if youÂ’re lucky, a boob. The new Red Band trailer for Machete opens with Danny Trejo ripping out a manÂ’s intestines which he then uses like a bungie-cord to jump off a building. And thatÂ’s just the beginning. Contained in this trailer youÂ’ll see pretty much everything the red band label is supposed to be for. ItÂ’s a non-stop two-and-a-half minutes of decapitations, blood spatter, and naked women

Ramona and Beezus

Beverley Cleary is one of those rare authors whose works can transcend generations without seeming dated or archaic. Her booksÂ’ messages, be it about the importance of family, individualism or friendship, are universal, which explains why youÂ’ve never met a person who has never read one of her books. Though theyÂ’re primarily written for children, many adults still cherish the stories. Because of this, Elizabeth AllenÂ’s Ramona and Beezus had a steep mountain to climb from the filmÂ’s inception, and, unfortunately, itÂ’s one that it leaves unconquered

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